Oh, The Irony Of It All

It looks like school officials in Orange County, Florida are trying to give their counterparts in Chicago a run for their money.

Apparently, tossing a rubber band onto a teacher's desk qualifies in Orange County as a "Level 4" offense -- ranking right up there with arson, assault and battery, and bomb threats.

The Liberty Middle School 7th-grader, 13-year-old Robert Gomez, picked up a the offending rubber band and put it on his wrist. When his teacher told him to give it to her, he tossed it onto her desk. For "assaulting" her with this "weapon", Gomez got a 10-day suspension and faces expulsion.

Liberty Middle School's principal used the fact that the case is still under "investigation" to avoid making any (possibly embarassing) comment on the case.

In typical fashion, the school district will use a series of meetings to stall for time and hope the whole thing blows over before actually making a decision on whether to back down and allow Gomez to continue school or risk an expensive -- not to mention embarassing -- lawsuit by trying to expel him.

We are, of course, absolutely delighted that things are otherwise going so well in Orange County schools that this is the biggest thing they have to worry about.

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The Question Is, Who's He Going to Sue?

Who says smoking isn't bad for you?

Jonathan Fish of San Francisco probably believes it now. Fish was crossing the Bay Bridge when he tossed a lit cigarette out the window. Apparently, Mother Nature didn't want it either, and the wind blue the butt back in, where it landed in the back seat, igniting it. ($30,000 for an SUV and no ashtray?)

When his SUV starting filling with smoke, he at least had presence of mind enough to get out. Unfortunately, he left the vehicle in neutral, which allowed it to keep going and crash into a guardrail, where it burned down to the frame. (What's that about "crash and burn"?)

In addition to losing a $30,000 vehicle, Fish now faces a $1,000 fine for littering. No word yet on what it will cost to fix his singed hair, though.

Ah, poetic justice. The only thing that would make it any better is if the insurance company declines to pay off.

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Secular Jihad

For anyone who thinks that what's going on in the Middle East -- and being exported around the world -- is a "religious" war, this makes for good reading.

We've said before in other venues that the "jihad" against the West is nothing more than the continuation of the struggle between freedom and tyranny that has existed since before this world was created. This "holy war" is about as much about religion as the Crusades were. (And for those who actually believed what they were taught in government schools, the Crusades were less about "recapturing" Palestine than about securing the Spice Road to India and China. Or did you think that Chris Columbus was looking to mine Haifa's harbor?)

More than anyone else, Christians should recognize that there are those (Satan and his minions) who would willingly enslave us. And there are those (Christ and his followers) who would show us the way to freedom. Before this world was even formed, there was a war in Heaven over which approach to take. Should the children of our Heavenly Father be taught correct principles and allowed to govern themselves? Or should they be coerced into doing what is right?

Part one of that war has already been won. Now it has changed venue, but not abated in the slightest. There are still those who would enslave you and use force to get you to do what they consider "right". And there are those who would teach you a better way and allow you to make your own choices and allow you to learn from the consequences.

It is not at all surprising that the orchestrators of this secular "jihad" are Marxists. Or does anyone really think that Khalida Jasim belonged to some really liberal sect of Islam that not only tolerated a woman running the show, but also prostituting herself in order to advance the cause? (Hint: she was a member of a terror organization led by George Habash, founder of the Marxist "Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine".)

Quick -- how do you say "useful idiots" in Arabic?

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Somewhere, Over The Shark Tank, Part 2

We've already pointed out one of Hollywood's attempts at self-destruction. Now comes another.

Most recently, the producers of "The Simpsons" have decided to prove their political correctness by depicting one of Marge's sisters as being a lesbian. How this advances the general theme of the show is beyond us. We must also admit that we stopped watching that particular episode around 5 minutes into it.

Have ratings for the show dropped that badly? If so, the producers have no one but themselves to blame. As one critic so aptly pointed out, the show works best when the regular characters are allowed to be themselves. The worst episodes were when outside "talent" was brought in to "spice things up". There's more than enough fodder for hilarity given the foibles of the regular cast.

Then, too, perhaps the miniscule attention span of the average American might be part of the problem. The hunger for thrills shows no sign of abating.

Regarding "8 Simple Rules", we can only note that the show seems to have survived despite the presence of Mr. Spade, not because of it. The writers have at least managed to keep some quality in the scripts, although it could always be better.

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Never Take A Knife To A Gunfight

It seems to be a given that government school teachers and (perhaps especially) administrators are idiots. But this is taking things to a hilariously new low.

Students at Beaubien Elementary School had some decidedly un-PC class t-shirts made. As if that weren't bad enough, the students actually had the gall to prove their point.

The issue centers on a 2003 vote for a class shirt at the school, 5025 N. Laramie. Students believed one concept won: The name "Gifties" written on the back and a caricature of a boy walking a dog on the front. But school administrators didn't like the design and kept the election results secret, telling students to take another vote, according to the federal complaint.

The students, who were in the gifted program, challenged the election and asked the school to disclose the results. Students and parents said they didn't get anywhere, so students decided to wear the "Gifties" design they believed won.

Next time, maybe those administrators will pick on someone their own (mental) size. Maybe they could find some kindergartners who won't stop coloring outside the lines.

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Ah, but that's the problem.

Vox Day points us to an excellent editorial over at the LA Times:

Ideological feminism has ghettoized and trivialized the subject matter of women's writing. As a successful ideology, it has foreclosed debate — and debate is the hallmark of the public intellectual.

We wonder if either Vox or Ms. Allen fully understand the two-fold nature of the problem. The first aspect is that true thinking is anathema ot feminism -- or any other collectivist idealogy. These people don't think, they "feel". They esteem themselves to be great intellectuals because they've bought the tired, bankrupt idealogy of Marx lock, stock, and barrel. When one simply accepts and then regurgitates the rantings of another, one could hardly be considered to be "thinking". The only woman to the left of Ronald Reagan who even comes close to coherent thought is Camille Paglia. And she probably has the rest of them grinding their molars at the mere mention of her name. (We might not agree with Ms. Paglia, but we certainly admire her penchant for actually thinking before she opens her mouth.)

The other part of the problem -- alluded to by Ms. Allen -- is that collectivists (feminists among them) brook no disagreement, even within their own ranks. The only reason you could possibly disagree with them is because you're a sell-out to the cause. And when they finally see that they can't win the "debate", they kick over the card table and storm off in a huff.

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Secret Agent Double-O Nothing

A federal appeals court panel upheld a ruling ruling against two reporters for refusing to divulge their sources for a story that revealed the name of an "undercover" CIA "operative".

Of course, there's only one small fly in the ointment: The "undercover" CIA "operative" was nothing more than a glorified, mid-level paper-pusher at Langley. Unless that's being used as some sort of really bizarre "cover" these days. (If she really were undercover, her husband would never have known about it.)

What's particularly disturbing about this is that one of the reporters (Judith Miller of the NY Times) never even published the story. All she did was gather background information for a story.

Let's hope the full appeals court has a bit more common sense. That might be a bit too much to ask in this day and age, though.

God help America.

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Wouldn't it be simpler to have a t-shirt made?

So some moron decided he really couldn't stand the thought of Valentine's Day. OK. We're sympathetic to that. But a suicide pact? Couldn't he just have a t-shirt made?

If you do go to a VDay protest party, just don't drink the Kool-Aid.

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Ah, but he feels like an Indian...

The delightful eyeful Ann Coulter pulls the rug out from University of Colorado's faux Indian, Ward Churchill.

His bona fides as an Indian might be as phony as a $3 bill, but his credentials as a left-wing nut are impeccable. (Perhaps he should have claimed "Native American" status based on being born in the USA ("native") and being nominally an "American".) Let's see: he's met with Libyan head case Moammar Ghadafi, participated in a demonstration for convicted cop killer Mumia Abu-Jamal, and written several incoherent rants. About the only thing he hasn't done is kiss Jesse Jackson on the lips at the Democratic National Convention.

Of course, his credentials as a full-fledged idiot are even more impressive. Somehow, he manages to claim that Arab terrorists retaliated a priori for the "massive and sustained American terror bombing of Iraq". We're really hoping this guy doesn't teach history.

Looks like a great candidate for the 2005 Left-Wing Nut Award. And the year is yet young...

The Envelope, Please....

And this week's winner of the Henry Waldo Award For Literary Excellence does not go to the makers of the plastic trays Winn-Dixie uses for its fried chicken*.

On the top is the warning: "Not ovenable, (sic) for one time microwave reheating of food only. Other uses may cause melting or injury."

OK, aside from the missing hyphen ("one-time", not "one time") and the incorrect use of "may" where "might" or "could" is proper, where the heck did "ovenable" come from? This idiotic fad of turning nouns into verbs has definitely gone too far.

Maybe Winn-Dixie could let us know who the culprit is so we can prize 'em.

(*Not all Zennists are vegetarians. Some of us still eat little dead animals. That's what they're on this Earth for.)

Baking For Columbine

Two hardened terrorists were hauled into court on Thursday to answer for their actions of 31 July, when they decided to forego a dance in favor of their terrorist spree.

As a result, the two -- members of a secretive local gang known as "The T & L Club" -- were sued by one of their victims, who claimed that their visit so terrified her that she ended up in the hospital emergency room the next day after suffering a severe anxiety attack that she thought might be a heart attack.

The plaintiff, Wanita Renea Young, who was at home with her 18-year-old daughter and her elderly mother, said she saw shadowy figures who banged and banged at her door. When she called out, "Who's there?", no one answered. The figures ran off, leaving a package which appeared to consist of half a dozen chocolate-chip and sugar cookies accompanied by big hearts cut out of red or pink construction paper with the ominous message: "Have a great night". It is unknown what those words are code for, nor was an analysis of the contents available at press time.

One of the defendants wept openly after Judge Doug Walker handed down his decision in La Plata County Court.

Read the complete story

The State of The Union Show

Nope. Didn't see it. Haven't watched one since Reagan was president, and not all of those. After reading Neal Boortz this morning, though, we'll definitely have to d/l the transcript and read that. (This, of course, will spare us the agony of listening to all that idiotically hypocritical applause.)

More later.