Poor Little Rich Man

Ann Coulter pretty much nails John "F" Kerry for his hypocritical posing as one of the common folk. He tends to remind us of the rich kid whose class was given an assignment to write about poverty. "There once was a very poor family", wrote the kid. "The mother was poor, the father was poor, even the servants were poor..."

We can't help but wonder just how much Hamburger Helper Monsieur Kerry has consumed in his lifetime. His plaid shirt might be a tad more convincing if the elbows were threadbare and his shoes had been re-soled. What most of those running know about living a meager existence could be written on the back of a postage stamp. They'd all be a lot more tolerable if they'd simply say "You know, I've had a pretty easy life, but noblesse oblige and all that, so I'm running for office to reduce the size, scope and cost of government and help clear the way for you folks to make a better life for yourselves."

(For the record, we have not only eaten an inordinate amount of Hamburger Helper in our lifetime, but have also been homeless on several occasions.)

Conspiracy? Or Mind Set?

What's going on in Hollyweird is less a conspiracy than a mindset. If you talk to 100 FedEx employees about who does the best job of delivering packages, how many are going to praise UPS? By the same token, since Hollyweird is dominated by the left, the concensus of opinion there is a left-wing concensus. (To be fair, the concensus on Wall Street is decidedly right-wing, but that only serves to bolster our point.)

The problem with the Left Coast loonies is that they suffer from intellectual incest.

"Shined"???

And this week's Henry Waldo Award for Literary Excellence does not go to ET's Mary Hart for using "shined" as the past tense of "shine". (It's "shone", Mary. Get yourself a dictionary. We're guessing they didn't have any in the government school you went to.)

What is a Libertarian?

Neal Boortz posts a nice little link on his site. For those who wonder what the Libertarian Party is all about, this is about the best description we've seen.

Had enough? Vote Libertarian.

The Golden Globs

Once again, this evening, America will be treated to yet another Hollywood orgy of self-congratulation. One wonders how the "winners" of these things are really decided. One also wonders how many acceptance "speeches" will be either nothing more than, or punctuated by, hysterical anti-Bush screeds.

Not that we're going to be watching. We have more enjoyable -- not to mention more useful -- ways of using our time.

The Captain's (Final) Place

Word comes today that Bob "Captain Kangaroo" Keeshan has passed away. With Fred "Mr. Rogers" Rogers gone, that leaves TV truly a "vast wasteland". Sad, that they don't make programs like CK anymore. Those of us over 30 remember the Captain and Mr Green Jeans and Grandfather Clock and the rest. That was TV worth watching.

So long, Captain; have fun up there in The Captain's Place. We'll miss you.

To Choose or Not To Choose

Yesterday being the 30th anniversary of the Supreme Court's Roe vs. Wade decision, there's bound to be plenty of demonstrations this weekend, mostly involving those who are rabidly obsessed with preserving "a woman's right to choose".

For many reasons, we four-square in favor of anyone's right to choose their own destiny. However, there's more than just one person involved in this "choice". If women want to choose not to have children, that's all well and good and we'll defend that right. But the choice has to come at the right time. After a certain point (i.e. conception), it's a moot point. Choosing to act irresponsibly and allow herself to get pregnant overrides any other choice a woman might have or want. One can choose one's actions, but not the consequences.

Of course, there are always those women who whine that if men were the one's who got pregnant, they'd behave a lot more responsibly. All well and good, we won't quibble with that one. But we do raise the point that since it is women who get pregnant, why don't they behave more responsibly? If you don't want to have children, don't get pregnant in the first place.

Perhaps it all depends on whose ox is being gored.

The Man Who Would Be President

Testifying before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee on 23 April 1971, Presidential wannabe John Kerry referred to Vice President Agnew's 1970 West Point speech where Agnew said that "our best men die in Asian rice paddies to preserve the freedom which most of those misfits abuse".

"It is a distortion", said Kerry "because we in no way consider ourselves the best men of this country".

Yup, ya got that right. But only if you're speaking for yourself.

Left vs. Right

The Hollywood Hypocrites of the Left Coast would be a whole lot easier to tolerate if only their ideas made a modicum of sense. But where do they come up with their left-wing lunacy? Quite likely, it stems from the fact that they do most of their "thinking" with the right side of their brains. Although this creativity works fairly well in the make-believe world of entertainment, it doesn't work in the real world. One of the reasons for this is that they are forever chasing their socialist utopia. What they seem to forget is that "utopia" does not mean "good place", it means "no place". There simply is not -- and will never be -- such a place among humans.

Complicating the matter is the fact that most of these left-wing nuts are True Believers in communism. Problem is, communism has never been the goal of the Marxists; it has always been a red (no pun intended) herring, designed to distract us from their true goal of world socialism. There has never been a communist country in the history of the world. All the various "worker's paradises" loved so dearly by the lunatic left describe themselves as socialist, not communist. Which is right and proper, as that is the definition that fits those societies.

By contrast, the pie-in-the-sky ideas of the country club conservatives actually do work in the short run, although the tend to fall apart in the long run. Neither side seems to take human nature into account. At least the right-wingers have logic on their side, short-sighted though it is. Their slight advantage in this arena stems (no pun intended) from using the left side of their brains.

Are l/Libertarians whole-brained thinkers? It would seem so. Although some libertarian ideas are in the short run somewhat unfeasable (e.g., open borders), in the long run and in terms of the larger picture, they could actually work. The challenge for l/Libertarians is to prioritize their goals in light of the larger picture. Having open borders does no good if those open borders exist in a largely conservative or liberal world.

If there were no corporate welfare, and if the maxims of equity were applied along libertarian lines, there would be no need for minimum wage laws. Here is where both l/Libertarians and conservatives stumble. As Gandi said "we have enough for everyone's need, but not enough for everyone's greed". A fair and equitable contract between employer and employee cannot exist where one side holds almost all the cards.

The challenge for l/Libertarians is to prioritize their goals, and then build coalitions with both liberals and conservatives when such coalitions will lead to the implementation of libertarian ideals.

The Sorry State of the Union

A quick prediction concerning tonight's State of The Union Show:

There will be no announcements of even one single government agency being downsized, no reduction of government expenditures, no efforts to make government less powerful or less intrusive, no attempt to reduce government regulation or paperwork.

Knit long and cut short: business as usual. Big Brother will make your life comfy from womb to tomb, as long as you're willing to give up your rights and your freedom.

All in favor of losing their rights, please do nothing.

Had enough? Vote Libertarian.

Neal (Almost) Nails It Again

Although Neal Boortz quite correctly points out the darker side of W's misbegotten plan to make home ownership "more affordable", he completely misses one of the worst points. If some dufus wants to buy a home and then default on the mortgage -- thereby ruining his credit rating -- the more immediate impact on the rest of us is the concommitent rise in real estate prices.

It's a verifiable axiom that anything the government subsidizes, becomes more expensive. Name any one thing that the government ever subsidized that actually became more affordable. For one thing, the government has absolutely no money except what it took from the rest of us thru coercion. There's simply no such thing as "government funds" -- it's taxpayer money. Ergo, in order to subsidize home ownership for the few -- who, as Neal so correctly pointed out, have not put themselves in a position to be home owners -- the government has to get that money from somewhere; i.e. those of us who actually pay taxes.

And, of course, consumed by an all-encompassing "compassion" for the "unfortunate", the government will never exercise anything near the care that financial institutions will in screening applicants for ability and demonstrated willingess to pay.

Watch your wallets, the legislature is in session...

Yin versus Yang

Also sprach Vox Day:

It's always strange, too, to see how many lesbians literally cringe in fear from nothing more than the presence of a masculine man.

Oddly enough, it isn't just lesbians who recoil at the presence of a masculine man like Dracula from a crucifix. It's all the man-hating feminazis. We've had no little experience with the emasculators who simply can't stand the thought of any of the attributes that make a man a man. Such things as self-reliance, independence, the willingness to take on a challenge, or even the willingness to develop one's own abilities are anathema to these people.

What is it in the female psyche -- particularly the hard-core man-haters -- that prevents them from seeing the value of these qualities? Still more, what is it that makes them want to stamp out those qualities in others? Whatever happened to live and let live? If others choose not to exercise their God-given rights and talents, we certainly feel pity for them, but it should in no way impinge upon anyone else's right to exercise said rights and talents.

Could it be that their envy has been turned to hatred? If they got their wish and all the men were turned into "women" (so to speak), how long would it be before our entire society collapsed from decay? Without both yin and yang, we face nothing but oblivion in the void.

Besides, Prof. Henry Higgins' wishes to the contrary, men are not trying to turn women into men.

What "race war"?

The History Channel is running a promo for yet another revisionist presentation on the Battle of the Little Big Horn (formerly known as Custer's Last Stand). Only this time, it's billed as Custer and his men riding into "the bloodiest race war America has ever known".

Huh?

Being an ardent student of history, we have never heard of race ever being a factor in the BLBH. It was all about nothing more than settling the West and Manifest Destiny. When did race enter the picture? No doubt when the politically correct crowd decided that since Custer was a dead white male (disregarding the fact that he was an arrogant idiot), it couldn't possibly have been about anything other than race.

This is what happens when the products of government schools are in charge.

Verify this....

The Old Sarge reports trying to re-charge his AT&T calling card yesterday. Unfortunately, the idiots at AT&T were suffering from a cranial-rectal inversion and couldn't figure out that, because he doesn't have a phone number, they couldn't verify his phone number with his credit card company. How monumentally stupid does someone have to be to not be able to figure that out?

And how long will it take AT&T to figure out that they need our money far more than any of us need their service?

Abuse of Authority

Packrat was telling the Old Sarge the other day about an unpleasant encounter with one of New Mexico's finest. Seems Packrat was headed to more or less the same place as the cop and the cop took exception to being followed. Apparently, the shoe doesn't fit as well on the other foot.

At any rate, the cop pulled into a parking lot, circled around, and came up behind Packrat. He made it quite clear that he didn't appreciate being followed, but Packrat managed to keep his temper during the browbeating.

What is it with some people in authority?

Go Ahead and Run It!

So CBS is winping out and won't run the Bush-bashing ad from MoveOn.org. Could it be that they're trying to save George Soros some money? Ads during the Stupor Bowl tend to be prohibitively expensive, and the word is that this ad would run $2,000,000 for 30 seconds. (Or is it $1,999,999.99?)

When Heather Wilson was running against Greg Maloof for the District One congressional seat in New Mexico, it was common knowledge that Maloof was willing to spend whatever it would take to win. Some wag had bumper stickers printed up saying "Make him spend it all, Heather!". Luckily for "North Mexico", Ms. Wilson won.

Soros has pledged $5,000,000 to try to beat Bush? Fine. Make him spend it all.

Honesty is Still the Best Policy

... but it's amazing how few people have really learned that lesson. Of course, there is a slight difference between interpersonal honesty and organizational honesty. We still suspect that "business ethics" might be more of an oxymoron than most people suspect. And some forms of dishonesty are more subtle than others.

Regarding interpersonal honesty, it never ceases to amaze us how often people are discouraged from being honest. Usually, the cause is emotional blackmail. All too often, people are not allowed to express their true feelings or opinions because someone else's feelings might be hurt. Often, this emotional blackmail can be quite blatant. Witness poor little Johnny, to whom an adult -- especially an unfamiliar one -- looms frighteningly large. So, when dear old Aunt Gladys comes to visit, Johnny's first reaction is to withdraw.

Unfortunately, Aunt Gladys demands that little Johnny come give her a great big hug. Is Johnny allowed to express his true feelings and decline? Heavens no! At this point, even the more or less well-meaning but misguided parents get into the act, demanding that Johnny make a display of affection that he neither feels nor understands. Next thing you know, Johnny's out in the back yard, pulling wings off of flies, because he can't deal with the trauma he's forced to suppress.

In the corporate world, things are a bit more subtle. How many times have you seen an ad for the latest electronic gadget that's priced at #2,999.99? (Gee, it's a good thing it doesn't cost $3,000! That extra penny would be a real show-stopper. $2,999.99 we can afford, but that $3,000 would bankrupt us.) Perhaps the most ridiculous example is the price of gasoline. What's the deal with that 9/10 of a cent at the end of the price? When gas retailed for $0.20 a gallon (oop! we meant $0.199), that extra 1/10 of a cent actually made a certain perverse sense, as it represented a far greater percentage of the price than it does when gas is selling for $1.50 (oops! $1.499) a gallon. If you buy exactly, precisely one gallon of gas, how do you get that 1/10 of a cent back in change? We once offered a gas station $1,000 if they'd price their gas honestly, but were told that the price is set by the wholesaler. Businesses would have a far easier time in the public relations arena if they'd set their prices honestly, instead of trying to deceive the public into thinking in terms of a lower price.

Stupidity + Racism = Embarassment

The Old Sarge reports that there was a town hall meeting at Robins Air Force Base today, featuring the new top enlisted guy on the base. Some idiot (an E-6!) actually got up and asked publicly what the procedures are for selecting the Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force (equivalent to the Sergeant Major of the Army) and why there hasn't been a Black one.

Looks like someone doesn't know his history. Thomas Barnes was the top Chief back in the '70s, when this kid was still pooping in his diapers. Apparently, this is what happens when you mix ignorance of history with an obsession for racial quotas.

God help America.....

A "two-fer"??

Perhaps Dubya is onto something here..... First, he proposes amnesty for illegal aliens. Then he proposes colonizing the Moon and perhaps even Mars.

Maybe we could solve two problems at once here. Send all the illegals to the Moon. When that gets full, send the rest to Mars.

Problem solved.

"Might" doesn't make right

In our youth, it was not at all uncommon to be reproved for language or behavior that had offended some never-to-be-named other. That was bad enough, as one never had the opportunity to discuss the situation with the complainant and be reconciled.

Nowadays, however, things have gotten far worse. Now, all sorts of speech and behavior are forbidden on the grounds that such "might" offend some nameless, faceless "others". After 9/11, workers at one firm in Florida were enjoined from displaying the American flag because it "might" offend foreign workers at the firm. Children were not allowed to wear religious symbols at school because those symbols "might" offend others.

Is this how low our society has sunk? Are people really so terrified that they "might" offend some hypersensitve, unknown and unknowable "other" that our entire society is paralyzed by fear? Have the ultra-thin-skinned achieved so much power over us that nothing can be accomplished without first making sure that absolutely no one -- no matter how unreasonable they are -- could possibly be offended?

Worse yet, what comes next?

Somewhere, Over the Shark Tank...

John Ritter's bones aren't even cold in the ground, and already "8 Simple Rules" has jumped the shark tank. Whoever had the idea of bringing on David "The Dweeb" Spade as Catie's cousin should have his/her head examined. It's sad that such luminaries as Ritter and Jim Garner have to have their reputations soiled by association with such a nothing. Don't look for a whole lot more of new episodes.

And the nominee is....

So much has attention has been given to who the Dumbocrat presidential nominees will be, without any thought being given to either nominees from the minor parties or who the Demo VP nominee will be.

The Libertarians -- the de facto "third party", with more candidates in and running for office than all the rest combined -- will run some poor soul who knows he hasn't got a snowball's chance in Hades, but runs for the sake of principle. The Greens -- aka the Watermelons (green on the outside; red on the inside) -- will most likely recycle Ralph Nader. All the rest of the minor parties will nominate their unknown sacrificial lambs.

The big question, though, revolves around the two major VP nominees. Bush will be loath to dump Cheney, no matter how much a liability he might be and completely ignoring the question of who the Repugnican nominee should be in '08. (Are they really so short-sighted? Probably.)

At any rate, since Weasely Clark has already declined the not-yet-offered honor, and since he's only a stalking horse for the junior Senator from New York anyway, that only leaves seven other possibilities for the dubious honor that Reagan bestowed on his rival Bush 41 in '80. Bush's crack about "voodoo economics" notwithstanding, Reagan put him in position for the '88 nomination. Dubya has no such heir apparent.

So, who would the Demoncrats like to see as the heir apparent for their nominee (who might likely wind up being Deanie Weenie)? Their plan for having the junior Senator from New York save the day at a contentious and highly divisive convention by "uniting the party", our guess is that -- in keeping with her propensity for only telling part of the truth -- the Dems will most likely give the #2 spot to the junior Senator from New York (aka Darth Vader in drag). (She did, after all, only promise not to run for /president/, not vice president.)

In such a case, should the GOP snatch defeat from the jaws of victor and the Demo nominee gets the White House, his life wouldn't be worth a plugged nickel.

Impossible, you say? Believe it or else. There are enough people in this country who are unbelievably stupid enough to vote for Her Majesty -- for no other reason than her gender -- that such a ticket is more than likely, and it's not at all outside the realm of possibility that such a ticket could actually win.

Remember: you read it here first.

God help America.

Annul this....

So Britney Spears seems to have set a record for the world's shortest marriage. After five hours of (presumably) wedded bliss, she decides she made a mistake. Or was she hoping to get into the Guinness Book of World's Records or something? Maybe the title of her next CD should be "Whoops! I Really Did It This Time".

In the "complaint"(?) to have the marriage annulled (was the ink dry yet on the marriage certificate yet?), she states that she ""lacked understanding of her actions to the extent that she was incapable of agreeing to marriage because before entering into the marriage the Plaintiff and Defendant did not know each others likes and dislikes, each others desires to have or not have children, and each others desires as to State of residency."

Aw, gee, your honor, we just like didn't think this through.....

(Hey, Britney.... that's not what's meant by a "quickie".)

And this is supposed to be an icon of our culture? A role model for young people?

God help America.....

Pity the Poor Bush-Bashers

A recent report in the San Francisco Chronicle says that protesters are being limited to "free speech zones" during official visits by President Bush. Naturally, the usual suspects (including the ACLU) are getting hysterical about the First Amendment implications of this.

Not that we're the least bit unsympathetic, but where were these same people a few years ago, when Clinton came to Albuquerque and the same thing happened to the protestors?? And was Albuquerque the only example of this? In how many more cities were the protesters kept out of Sick Willy's sight?

It looks like Martin Luther was right -- it all depends on whose ox is being gored.

King Mike?

Fox News reports that, due to some heretofore unreported hanky-panky among British royalty, the proper monarch could well be a bloke in Australier (sic) named Mike.

Sounds like a great sequel to John Goodman's 1991 "King Ralph".

Given the state of things in the UK, King Mike could probably do a much better job for less money. The House of Windsor (aren't they really the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha??) tends to make the Bundy Brood look normal.

Oh, the delicious irony of it.....

Make 'em put their money where their mouth is

For all the blather out of Washington, the Prez did come up with a halfway good idea, asking Heimatsicherheitsdienst Kommandant Tom Ridge if he'd let his (Ridge's) kid fly on a plane. Good as far as it goes, but not good enough.

Perhaps Ridge and the rest of the TSA autocrats should be required to fly in those planes that are oh-so-safe. Unarmed, of course, since they don't seem to believe in arming pilots. Sort of a reversal on the idea of randomly staffing planes with air marshals.

Oh, and they should be "randomly selected" for closer screening prior to boarding. Flying coach, of course, goes without saying. What's sauce for the goose.....

Annual Awards

Since everyone else seems to be handing out awards at this time of year, it seemed only fair that we do the same. Ergo, the following awards, for the causes noted, are awarded.


Left-Wing Nut
To the person who comes up with the nuttiest idea for advancing the Socialist causes of the left.
A tie: Howard Dean & Wesley Clark. These two want to be President? Of what? The United Socialist States of America?


Right-Wing Nut
To the person who comes up with the nuttiest idea for advancing the Fascist causes of the right.
AG John Ashcroft. He actually intends to enforce that ill-begotten Patriot Act?


Global Whining
To the person or organization guilty of the most egregious whining and moaning, usually about things that are either none of their business or that they should be doing for themselves.
Former VP Algore, who still hasn't gotten over his inability to steal the 2000 election.

Henry Waldo Award for Literary Excellence
The only award NOT actually given. For the most egregious mangling of the English language.
No doubt about it: Geraldo Rivera gets this one, hands-down, for using "effort" as a verb.
Fox News Channel's Catherine Herridge gets honorable mention for pronouncing "vignette" as "vig-net". (And she does such a great job otherwise....)