New Immigration Law

Maybe it's time for some tough new restrictions on all immigrants -- legal and illegal.

1. If you immigrate to this county, you must speak the native language.

2. You must be a professional or an investor. No unskilled workers allowed.

3. There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools, no special ballots for elections; all government business will be conducted in our language.

4. Foreigners will not have the right to vote, no matter how long they are here.

5. Foreigners will never be able to hold political office.

6. Foreigners will not be a burden to the taxpayers. No welfare, no food stamps, no health care or other government assistance programs.

7. Foreigners can invest in this country, but it must be an amount equal to 40,000 times the daily minimum wage.

8. If foreigners do come and want to buy land, that will be allowed, however options will be restricted. Foreigners are not allowed to own waterfront property. That is reserved for citizens naturally born in this country.

9. Foreigners may not protest -- no demonstrations, no waving a foreign flag, no political organizing, no bad-mouthing our president or his policies. If you do, you will be deported.

10. If you do come to this country illegally, you will be hunted down and sent straight to jail.

There's probably not enough intestinal fortitude in all of Congress to enact law like this. But it seems to work pretty well for Mexico. It's their law.


Fouled-up Emergency Mismanagement Agency

Although we certainly applaud the recent calls for the abolishment of FEMA, we recognize two stumbling blocks.

First of all, government -- like nature -- abhors a vacuum. FEMA will most definitely not be abolished. It will simply be replaced by a "new" agency. ("New! Improved! Now with 20% less bureaucracy!")

The other stumbling block to this is that the "new" agency will be staffed with the same cretins who now work for FEMA. What? You thought all those thousands of bureaucrats were going to simply go into another line of work? If so, we've got a bridge in Brooklyn we'd like to sell you.

The obvious solution to this mess is the one that will never be implemented: abolish FEMA and let the states and localities do the job.

How did we ever manage before the Imperial Federal Government started doing everything for us?


Andy Still Doesn't Get It

Like most of those on the Lunatic Left, Andy Rooney just can't figure out why this country has never had a female president.

How can it be "wrong" that we've never had a female president? Being better educated or "nicer" is mentioned no where in the Constitutional requirements for a president. Nor is there any sort of Constitutional affirmative action policy for gender equality in elected offices.

Instead of obsessing over the gender of this nation's Chief Executive, Andy and his ilk would be far better served by worrying about such things as a willingness to govern according to the Constitution -- something their favorite female candidate would never do.

Arguing With Fools

Recent events have reminded us of the old maxim: "Never argue with fools; they'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience".

Of course, as Goethe pointed out, fools and wise men are equally harmless; it is the half-fools and half-wise who are dangerous.


Rock On

Now here's a guy we can deal with.

Apparently, it's not true that there's no teetotaler like a reformed alcoholic. At least he's not preachy about his faith. Even though his reality never did really live up (down?) to his reputation, he has reformed himself and appears to be a lot less hypocritical than either the Bible-thumping pseudo-Christians or the Hollyweird Hypocrites who bash them.

Thinking Outside The Box

Wherein Pretty Lady finds herself in a quandary not necessarily of her own making.

There is an old saying that if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.

What seems to be missing in her equation is an element of intuition. Of course, things would go so much more smoothly for her (and, indeed, all women) if only she could spot the "fractured psyche" before being taken in by the "enormously high intelligence, (and) a habit of thinking outside the box".

Mercifully, we learned long ago to spot the more egregious flaws in the psyches of those women with whom we have come in contact. Being unattached is far less odious than being caught up in one psycho-drama after another.


Another Anniversary

No doubt the ABCNNBCBS cabal was full of it, and even Fox News made mention last night of yesterday being the 11th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing. As sad as it is that hardly anyone has learned the right lessons from that experience, it's just as sad that no one -- Fox News included -- remembered that it was also the 13th anniversary of the massacre of 82 people at the Branch Dvaidian compound in Waco by the federales.


Shooting Himself In The Foot

Maybe we need to come up with a new award for this sort of thing. Perhaps we could call it The Tom Daschle Award. ("You don't professionalize unless you federalize.")

Best line of the story: "The shooting occurred moments after Paige told the children that he was the only person in the room professional enough to carry the weapon."


Read It And Weep

The good Capt Z tells a tale of woe. Certainly is a rotten way to treat people who are trying to do something decent for wounded vets.

If this isn't resolved properly, let's all boycott Hilton.


Text of e-mail sent to Daniel A. Boyle (Daniel_A_Boyle@Hilton.com):


It was with great concern that we recently read of your planned eviction of Fran O'Brien's Restaurant from your facility in Washington, DC.

There are two aspects of this that we find disturbing. The first is that this is a very popular gathering place for the wounded returning from the Middle East. The morale-boosting value of such an experience is impossible to measure. For O'Brien's to be dislocated in such a manner would cause considerable disruption.

The other concern centers around the way this has been handled. Apparently, the managers of O'Brien's have been trying for the last six months to get the lease renewed. For five of those six months, they have received assurances that everything was on track. Suddenly, last week, they were notified that their lease would not be renewed. This is hardly a proper way to do business. What if the situation were reversed? How would you like the situation to be resolved?

It is our sincere hope that you will reconsider this action and allow O'Brien's to renew their lease.

2nd Update:
Received the following e-mail from Hilton:

:begin text

Your e-mail has been forwarded to me, Brian Kelleher, General Manager, of The Capital Hilton.

Thank you for your _expression of concern regarding the Fran O’Brien’s restaurant. I appreciate your interest and would like to take this opportunity to respond to you personally.

For strictly business reasons related solely to the inability to reach a new lease agreement, the Capital Hilton has elected to terminate the lease with the operator of Fran O’Brien’s restaurant at the hotel. This decision was not at all related to the Friday night dinners for disabled veterans but rather a result of lease negotiations that failed. The hotel has offered to host and sponsor the May 5, 2006 dinner and expressed interest in working closely with Walter Reed so that the Friday night tradition can continue. Furthermore, the hotel is in discussions with one of the sponsors of the Friday night dinners to continue their support of the dinners.

The Capital Hilton prides itself on its involvement and support of many community organizations and events and has provided complimentary or discounted rooms to families with veterans in the hospital, donated facilities to military organizations and most recently hosted a meeting for 300 people.

Brian Kelleher
General Manager, Capital Hilton

:end text

Interesting that he doesn't give any specifics as to the "inability to reach a new lease agreement".

Curiouser and curiouser.


More Bureaucratic BS

For years, The Old Sarge has been telling people that if you want to see what Hillarycare would look like, just go sit in any VA Hospital for a few hours and watch what happens. Or doesn't happen.

Now comes this.

Makes one's blood boil, doesn't it?

Vote Nall, Y'all!

(Thanks to Vox for pointing us in this direction.)

Too bad she's set her sights so low. We think this woman would make one helluva President. If nothing else, she'll give the Bible-thumpers a run for their money. (Check out her campaign Web site.

Best quote:
"First, I want to talk about religion and government. While the other candidates in this year's election will spend their time trying to out-Jesus each other my campaign will offer no such shenanigans. That's because I understand and respect the basic principles that religion is a private family matter and that in and of itself is one of our country's greatest strengths....The other candidates in this election seem to have forgotten these principals. They are using religious and spiritual beliefs as a political football and that is a disgrace to the very sanctity of religion. I don't think Jesus would be very proud of any of them."

Pretty bloody good for an atheist. A much better attitude than most so-called "Christians".

Maybe It Was Just Hot Air

We've long maintained that whatever "global warming" might be occurring could be due to the surfeit of hot air generated by politicians, pseudo-scientists and ech-whacko agitators. Now it seems that the situation has stablizied since 1998.

One researcher points us to some rather curious facts on the situation.

One thing not mentioned in the article, though, is that the world had been coming out of a 500-year mini Ice Age since the middle of the 19th Century. Coming out of a mini Ice Age, one would naturally expect global temperatures to rise and would acknowledge that as part of the equation. Unless, of course, one stood to further one's political agenda -- not to mention earn a comfortable living at taxpayer expense -- by stirring up hysteria among the masses.


Don't Try This At Home

Willfull stupidity should be physically painful.

Why are we not surprised that this could happen in the Kalifornia People's Republik?

It could only get better if the bug he was trying to squash was of the "endangered" kind.

Godwin's Law Revisited

Godwin's Law says that as soon as one party to a debate or argument likens any other party to Hitler or the Nazis, the discussion is effectively over. Now it looks like there's an interesting corollary to that law. Let's call it McKinney's Corollary.

Georgia's state embarassment in the House of Representatives -- Socialist Congresscritter Cynthia McKinney, who looks like she stuck her finger in a light socket -- surprised no one by playing the race card in this little tempest in a teapot involving the Capitol Hill Police. Of course, in her case, she's also willing to play the gender card. As though that should matter.

Of course, when someone like Nancy "Pitbull" Pelosi distances herself -- and, by extension, the party -- from McKinney, it puts her on very thin ice indeed.

What could possibly be "racist" or "inappropriate" about a cop chasing down someone who A) was not wearing the pin that would identify her as a member of Congress, and B) ignored three orders to stop?

Just once, we'd like to see a liberal stand up and face the music for his/her misdeeds without trying to blame things on someone else.

We can't help but wonder when the voters of Georgia's 4th District will wake up and give her the boot.


Ain't That A Shame

Dutch filmmaker Paul Verhoeven is all broken up that trash and sleaze are just not selling in the US anymore. Aw...

Apparently, his latest porn moving isn't doing all that well at the box office. So, does he blame his lack of success on a trashy movie that Americans simply don't want to bother seeing? Maybe it just wasn't a very good movie? No, of course not!

In typical leftist fashion, his lack of success can only be attributed to the rise of the Bush Administration. Somehow, his movie got "banned" in America. (Would someone please tell us the name(s) of the person(s) who banned this movie?)


... these cretins are the "real" owners of this land.

...they're "not Latinos" and "not Hispanic".

...this is "their" continent.

...they're "Olmecs" who live in "Anahuac".

How come they all speak Spanish?