News Flash! Terror Alert!

NEWS FLASH!

TERROR ALERT!

Confidential intelligence sources report that Washington DC has been
infiltrated by two terror cells, known as the "House" and the "Senate".
These two cells are run by a group of terrorists known as the
"Republicrats". Factional infighting within the Republicrats has so far
prevented them from fully implementing their plans for conquering the
American people. Sources warn, however, that Americans should be on the
highest level of alert and should be particularly aware of anyone
promising them something for nothing, or greater security in exchange for a
giving up a purportedly "small amount" of their freedom.

The intel sources did point out, though, that the plans of the
Republicrats could be defeated by the deployment of squads of freedom
fighters known as "Libertarians". Although greatly outnumbered by the
Republicrats, these Libertarians are highly motivated and have recently
upped their efforts at getting better organized. Libertarian sympathizers
are also expected to aid in the effort, if they can be mobilized in
sufficient numbers.